Career Change?

I have never had a job for more than three years. I've never really worked in a chosen profession for much longer than that. I think that if you add up all the time I've spent as a “writer” and/or “editor” at various jobs I've been in my current profession for near four and a half years. I've been in the travel industry for a bit over three years. If you count my time as a freelancer while living in Romania, it's closer to four.

I made becoming a writer a top priority for me. Realizing I was on a path to being a librarian for the rest of my life I purposely took myself off that path and put myself on a path to being a writer, and ultimately a travel writer. It was not easy. It did not happen overnight. There were times when I didn't know how I was going to make it happen. But I did it.

Now after all that work of getting myself to where I am now, I'm considering making another change. And I'm very conflicted about it.

Am I doing the right thing? Is this just part of a pattern of never staying at one job for too long (though not all the jobs ended by my choice!)? Is the risk I’d be taking worth it?

I am thinking about becoming a travel agent.

I believe I could be good at it, or at least parts of the job. I believe I would enjoy doing it, or at least certain pieces of the job. Is the fact that I know already I might not be good at, or enjoy certain parts of the job an indication that I shouldn’t do it.

There are certain parts of being a writer that I don’t like.

But here’s the thing. I don't know if I was born to be a travel agent, while I do know I was born to be a writer.

Of course, just because I'm thinking about becoming a travel agent doesn't mean I plan to give up writing. I want to continue working on my fiction, and continue to work as a travel writer part time. It’s just that I don’t want to do the journalist thing full time anymore.

I also like the ideas of working for myself, and helping people find the right cruise (or land vacation).

What I don’t like is the idea of being a salesperson, and I especially don’t like the thought of having people come to me to complain when they didn’t have a good vacation – which is absolutely a job requirement!

So, I’m conflicted. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if the risk is worth it when there is a definite possibility of failure.

So that’s the question really? Is fear a good enough reason to not take a risk? You tell me!

My First Nasty E-Mail

I know that if I eventually publish my novel I can look forward to nasty reviews and nasty e-mails from readers -- it's just a part of being a writer. It has nothing to do with me and more with whomever has reviewed the book or written the e-mail.

I always wondered if I'd be able to handle it, and then recently I got an e-mail at my job that gave me a taste of what I can look forward to.

In seeking travel agent comments on the new mega ship, the Norwegian Epic, I sent out several "cold" e-mails to travel agents I don't know.

This was the e-mail I sent (names of people and the publication have been erased):


Hello,

I am an editor with xx xx xx, a online trade publication targeted at travel agents. I'm working on an article about what travel agents are the most excited about re: the Norwegian Epic, and was hoping you could help me out. Are you or your clients looking forward to the July launch of the Epic? What one aspect of the ship are you most excited about and why?

Thanks for any input you can provide.


That evening I got the following response.

Sorry, your English is so poor, I could never believe anything you wrote.
Therefore, I have no comment for you.
Additionally, I request you remove me from your email list immediately.
Larry


I have to say I was so shocked when I first got it. My immediate impulse was to hit reply and let off a string of profanity. My second impulse was to begin a negative media campaign against his travel agency. But eventually I calmed down and decided I could be the professional in this case and take the higher road. I simply deleted the e-mail and will never contact this agent again.

Of course if anyone ever asks me if I've ever heard of his agency, I'll let them know a very rude man named Larry works there, and to avoid him at all costs.

But the point is, I got over my immediate shock. I realized his e-mail had nothing to do with me or my writing and I moved on.

If I ever get my novel published, I believe I'll be able to handle most of the negative comments that come my way.

Participatory Research

As I become more involved in my own writing and as I read about other writers and their processes, one thing I hear again and again is how writers research many aspects of their book by doing them and trying them.

So, if a writer's book includes the main character riding a dune buggy, the writer makes sure he or she has ridden a dune buggy so the experience can be described accurately. I believe this is one of the reasons so many writers write about what they know. The research is already built into their lives.

But at some point ever writer is going to have to write about something unfamiliar. Sometimes book and/or Internet research is enough. In some cases finding an expert to talk to is sufficient. But other times, the writer really does need to get out there and experience whatever it is firsthand.

With that in mind, when I was offered the opportunity to take a gun class -- during which I would get to see guns, touch them, shoot them! -- I decided it was too important to pass up. While my main character is not a cop and for the most part will not be dealing on a daily basis with gun toting people, I am writing a murder mystery series and chances are at some point a gun will appear in the books.

In fact, a gun appears in the book I'm writing now. And quite frankly, I was just going to write the scene(s) with the gun based on what I've seen on TV. And I'd probably get away with it. I don't know how many people are going to read my book who are very familiar with guns. But once the opportunity was in front of me, I would have been remiss as an author if I didn't take it.

And I'm glad I did. I learned a lot. I learned what they really look like, what they really feel like, what it smells like when a gun is shot, what the actual shot looks like, what it feels like to shoot a gun -- all things I can use in my writing.

Of course, those were the things I expected to learn, but I learned more than that. I learned what a bullet wound does (thankfully not first hand!). I learned what gun oil smells like and what tools are needed to clean a gun. These were not things I had thought about before, but both will appear in the book I'm writing.

I found the class both interesting and disturbing. I didn't particular like shooting the guns, though I had my favorites. A few were too powerful for me. Just shooting them at a paper target got my heart pounding in a way I didn't enjoy.

All anecdotal stories aside, I did not find shooting guns to be empowering. I think I realized I have absolutely no desire to have that kind of power over someone -- especially the power that comes from the higher caliber guns.

But I am so glad I took the class, because I believe it was an important experience to have and I believe it will make my writing that much more realistic.

A bit of good news

For the past two years I have been a member of an organization called the North American Travel Journalists Association. Each year I have entered their annual writing competition, in the categories for travel trade writing.

In 2008 I submitted two articles and I won First Place for the article I submitted in the Tips & Advice for the Trade category. I won a three-night stay at Mohegan Sun, with food credits. It was great fun!

This year, I again submitted two articles, both in the general Trade category. Two days ago I found out that I "won" a Merit Award (basically honorable) mention for one of the articles.

Of course, I'm conflicted about the win.

In 2008, I truly won. This year (being 2009) I only got honorable mention. Yes, that's still a high honor. There were two First Place winners and two Merit Award winners, and I'm sure there were more entrants than than, so my article was still picked as one of the best out of a larger field. So I should be pleased.

And I am. It's another notch on my travel publishing belt, another bullet point on my resume.

But I'm not going to lie and say I don't care that didn't First Place. Of course I care. I'd much rather have won First Place (and a prize).

Oh well, there's always next year. ;)

Writing Body Language

I've been taking a super intensive online class about body language, or non-verbal communication (NVC). It's specifically for writer's and is about how to use NVC in my writing.

It's taught by a woman named Mary Buckham (www.MaryBuckham.com), who is an amazing teacher and I can only imagine must be an amazing writer. When she makes suggestions on how to change things, I'm awed by her skill.

NVC when added to writing changes the depth of the writing dramatically. One of my first writing assignments was to try and show disbelief using body language.

This was what I wrote:

"I didn't touch your computer," I said and immediately had to lean away from Bob lest I smack him. Not only because it pissed me off that he didn't believe me but I've never been able to lift just one eyebrow.

What do you think?

As it turns out I missed the mark. And here's why:

[from Mary's feedback] "What you'redoing here is, instead of letting the movement of the eyebrow itself give the non-verbal message or body language you are using her thoughts only. Thoughts can be used in conjunction with a body movement to clarify the message but the brow needs to be in action and not simply referenced. Make sense?"

Totally makes sense. I didn't actually use any body movement (other than her leaning away) in the above passage. Hmm, body language is harder than I thought.

Here's my second attempt:

He cocked one bushy eyebrow in my direction. God, one of these days I was going to pluck the smugness out of those things.
"Really, I didn't touch your computer."
I tried to keep my eyes wide, lifting my shoulder up for emphasis. I hoped he didn't notice the tell-tale fluttering in my throat's pulse.

Better?

Here was Mary's response:
"Major improvement here. See what you've done :-) You've shown the reader his reaction to the subject at hand through his body language then gave her internal reaction to clarify for the reader exactly what the brow movement meant - so you have communication, not only emotion but conflict and tenseness between these two without simply saying 'He was frustrating her'."

Success!

Let me tell you this class has been a real eye-opener!

Intimidation

Today I opened up Word to start working on my novel. I pulled out my outline and began writing. After about three-quarters of the page, I had to flip the page of my outline.

My writing stopped.

I am on the last page of my outline.

I have not only reached the final homestretch, a daunting enough thought by itself, I have reached the most critical moments in the story -- both emotionally and in terms of action.

And suddenly I'm terrified.

It's all well and good to muddle my way through the earlier parts of the book, setting the stage, planting clues, having Abi chase after those same clues, but there's no muddling when it comes to emotional intensity and a high-intensity climax. And suddenly, I'm not sure I'm up to it.

I mean I'm just not sure I know how to do emotional intensity without getting all maudlin. Or without using too many words.

I know, I know. For my first draft I'm not supposed to let these thoughts bother me and just write whatever comes and then fix it later. But come one! This is scary stuff.

This is it. This is the crux of the story. This is the endgame, the money shot, the reason d'etre. If I can't make this part of the story work, the entire story fails!

And yet at the same time, I look at my outline and I see how far I've come and how little I have to go to have completed my first ever full novel. Who cares that its a first draft and could be a piece of crap and may never turn into anything else. I have never before finished an entire novel, never. I've never even managed to finish a short story. And now I'm just 50 pages or less away from a complete novel. How cool is that!

So I'm taking a deep breath, letting all these crazy thoughts go, and going back to my Word doc.

Here goes nothing... and everything.

Out of practice

Two days ago I opened the document containing my work-in-progress novel for the first time in over a month. I was terrified to do it. It's like an old flame you've never quite gotten over and you're going to be seeing again after a long time apart. I missed my novel desperately, but what if after all this time I don't like it anymore? More important, what if it doesn't like me? What if no words come?

I won't lie. My first day, I barely wrote anything new. I re-read the most recently written chapter to catch myself up again, looked over my outline, made some changes and then wrote a whopping half a page!

And it was hard! Getting those ten or eleven sentences out was like pulling teeth. The words were slow to come and felt clumsy. My story seemed unfamiliar.

It took me a half hour to write that half page and so I had to stop and get to work. But in spite of how difficult it had been, I was proud of my few sentences. They were the first of the new year and proof that I can fit writing my novel into my life.

The next day I wasn't so nervous opening the file. Oh maybe there were a couple of butterflies flitting about inside me, but I felt much more prepared to tackle the challenge of my story. The characters felt more familiar to me. The words flowed a little more easily. Of course I didn't do too much more than half a page again, but it felt better.

I couldn't write today because of work (that'll be true every Thursday) but I can't wait for tomorrow morning when I can keep going. My story is back in my mind and I can't wait to get it out on paper.

Fitting It All In - Part II

It's been almost two weeks since I wrote about trying to fit it all in and I thought I'd give a little update on what my progress has been.

Obvious to anyone who follows my blog, I haven't yet managed to fit writing three to four blog entries a week into my schedule. Last week I managed only one blog entry, and I was thrilled I'd managed even that. This week my goal is two entries! This is one and I intend to write a second on my bus ride into the city on Tuesday. I said it here -- so now I have to do it!

As for my novel, I haven't written a single word. I'd say its probably been over a month now since the last time I worked on my novel. I do intend to change that this week. My goal is very modest -- I'd like to finish the week having written at least 500 words. Even if I only write 100 a day, I should reach my goal.

I have, however, been pushing up my wake-up time. But what I've been doing with the extra time has not been the writing I had originally planned for. Instead, I've been exercising. Each day I've gotten up a little bit earlier and each day I've exercised on my elliptical a little bit more. I've finally reached my daily goal (40 minutes every morning) so now as I continue to get up a little bit earlier each morning, the extra time can finally go to writing. It won't be as much as I had wanted but it will be something, and I'll be feeling healthier, which I believe will contribute to better writing in both my personal and professional pursuits.

Although I'm not there yet, I refuse to feel discouraged. Each day I am making progress in the direction I want to be going. Eventually that progress will once again include working on my novel, but no matter what I'm moving in the right direction. How can I feel discouraged about that?

Two weeks from now, I will again post about my progress. Between now and then I pledge to have written at least three more blog entries and begun working on my novel again. You can hold me to it.

Fitting it all in

As I said in my last post its been awhile since I've written for my blog. There are two reasons for my absence. The good one, which I mentioned a couple of days ago, was my long, long-awaited vacation to Antigua. The second reason – I got a job.

Now here's the tricky part – I should be jumping up and down for joy and I guess a part of me – the part that likes a regular, decently-sized paycheck – is very happy. But part of me is completely resentful. Though I am currently an independent contractor for the company I am working full time, that means 7 to 8 hour days – that means no more extra time to work on my novel, or my blog.

And that's where the disappointment and resentment comes in. I was enjoying writing my novel, I was enjoying making progress every day, seeing the story take shape and even starting to get a feel for my main character. My first reaction to realizing I had a fulltime job was fear. Fear that I was going to have to give up my dream of being an author. I've made more progress on my novel since I lost my job than before. I don't want to go back to making no progress.

So now I'm back to where I was before, at my old job. I can't write in the evenings because I can't write when my husband is in the house. He's just too distracting. And, I'll admit I also like evening TV. On the couple of evenings I have nothing to watch I try to get in some reading --- I have a book review due at the start of January and I haven't started reading the book yet.

In the first two weeks of this new job I've written not one single word for my novel, and until two days ago, I hadn't written a single blog entry since mid-November. I felt like I was starting to see my dreams dissolve.

And then I read a thread on the Sisters in Crime Guppies listserv about trying to fit it all in – work, family, writing. And reading how other people are managing was both inspiring and helpful. It helped me look at my life and my schedule and figure out how I can get it all in.

So I've decided a few things. First of all Saturday mornings before my husband wakes up will be writing time. I should be able to get in 2 to 4 hours before he gets out of bed. Second, every other Tuesday I go into New York City to visit my newborn niece. On the ride to the city I'll write blog entries (guess where I'm writing this??). I'll also try to write at least one blog entry every weekend. That should keep me at 3 to 4 posts a week, which is fine with me.

But most importantly I will start getting up earlier on the weekdays (I work from home so have no commute time) and write for an hour before starting work. Even if I only get 1000, 500 or 200 words written a day, that will be forward progress and that's all I can ask for.

I will not give up my dream just because I have to work a full-time job. Most authors work full-time jobs and are still successful writers. If they can do it, so can I. It's not going to be easy, it's going to take hard work – but as I've said before, writing IS hard work.

And I feel ready to tackle the challenge.

How do you fit it all in?

Is there such a thing as too many notebooks?

On the file cabinet next to my desk is a pile of loose notebook pages covered in my scribbled notes from the Poisoned Pen virtual conference several weeks ago. I took lots of notes during several online video and audio sessions -- all good stuff, important stuff, stuff I should know and take to heart in order to be a better writer.

But what am I supposed to do with these notes? Do I try to read and re-read them until I have my notes memorized? Do I stick them into a folder and file them away until the day I realize my file cabinets are too full and throw everything away?

How do I retain all this knowledge others have imparted to me in an orderly way, that I can refer back to?

I have the same question about all sentences I underline in books. For instance, I'm reading On Writing by Stephen King right now and I've underlined a lot! All well and good, I know I've read something good and so I underline it but now what? Tomorrow I'll have forgotten what I underlined? So how can I retain that knowledge?

I've been thinking that one idea would be to buy a notebook and transcribe all my notes, and all the underlined passages into the notebook. First of all, transcribing is a great way of reinforcing information. At least for me, when I re-write things I'm more apt to remember them.

I like this idea but then I think to myself, I'm going notebook crazy. I've already got one notebook that I write all my daily gratitude lists in (and I've got lots and lots of old notebooks with old gratitude lists on my bedroom bookshelf), plus I have another notebook for keeping track of my freelance and contract writing -- articles, hours, pay, etc.

Now I'm going to add a third notebook to the pile?

Oh, and actually I've got two other notebooks lying around that I use for taking notes when I'm doing interviews for articles or taking notes when I go to events. Those notebooks get smaller and smaller over time as I tear pages out.

But still, that means I'll now have five notebooks on my desk.

Oh wait! I've got another notebook tucked into a hanging file divider with essential facts about my characters and story ideas.

So that's six notebooks.

Is that crazy? Is that too many?

Do you use notebooks for keeping track of your life and/or work? What's in your notebooks?

On reading Stephen King's On Writing

I've just started reading Stephen King's book On Writing, which he wrote partly as a memoir and partly as a book about writing. I'm only on page 32 and I'm already blown away by his mastery of written language.

For any of you wanting to reach out and smack me with a loud "Duh," I've never really read Stephen King before, as I'm not into horror. I know I read the short stories upon which The Shawshank Redemption and Stand by Me were based, but that was a long time ago, when I didn't really pay attention to the words and structure an author used, just the story.

So, as I was saying, I'm blown away. His choice of words leave me speechless and breathless with jealousy.

Let me give you an example. He writes about being stung by a wasp when he was about two years old. "The pain was brilliant, like a poisonous inspiration." I don't know about you, but I get an immediate sense of what his pain must have been like. And to put poisonous and inspiration together, I think is just genius.

I think I can safely say I never would have put those words together. It just wouldn't have occurred to me. Not only is it genius, it's poetic.

It's funny because I think most people, well literary snobs anyway, think of truly great writing as being done only by authors who write high-brow literary fiction. But I think a truly great writer is able to immediately evoke an image or a feeling in an explosive manner in which its impossible for the reader not to see or feel what's being written about. A truly great writer pulls his or her reader into the story, making it just as real as everyday life.

People read Stephen King to get a thrill, a real sense of fear that keeps them from turning the lights out when they go to bed. Only a truly great author could accomplish that.

I find reading On Writing to be both enjoyable because it's always a treat to read great writing, but also depressing because I know that even if I were to practice and work on my writing skills for the next 50 years I don't think I'd ever be as good as Stephen King. Sometimes it makes me want to put the book down, delete my unfinished manuscript and give up writing. Just go back to being a voracious reader who appreciates good books.

I doubt that's what Stephen King had in mind when he wrote this book though. I don't think he wants to discourage anyone, but instead inspire us. I find it amusing that I think, in part, he wanted this book to show his readers that he's really just like everyone else -- puts his pants on one leg at a time, he says in the book. But just the way he tells us he's like everyone else already sets him apart from everyone else. But again, I don't think that's what he really intended.

As I continue reading, and I will read this book through to the end no matter how much I want to throw it away in despair, I will try to keep in mind that he wants me to be inspired, not discouraged. I will try to pull out whatever insights I can and if I can apply even a one-hundredth of what he has to say to my writing, I will be a better writer for it.

But I still can't get over just how good he is. Maybe I should pick up one of his fiction books. Any suggestions?

Have you ever read an author who just blew you away? Someone's who's mastery of words, or characters or plot left you wondering how they got to be so good?

Why can't verbal tricks work in written language!

I've been working on an article for a publication about the psychology of selling. It's been very interesting. I'm amazed at all the ways psychology plays a part in the sales process, and in communication in general. And even more amazed at the ways we can manipulate (which is not necessarily a bad thing) language to be more effective communicators.

For example, all people experience the world through their senses, and most people are more oriented toward one sense than another. In the US most people are either auditory based or visually based. By listening to people speak you can actually determine which one they are and then when you communicate with them you can choose your words so that you're more likely to make a connection with that person and get your message heard.

For instance, a person who is auditory will say things like "I hear what you're saying," or "That sounds good to me." And a person who is visual might say "Let's see what we can do," or "That looks good to me."

There are relatively few feeling (or kinesthetic) people in the US. But they would say things like "I sense this is going to work out," "This feels right to me," or "That's a real weight off my shoulders."

So once you identified which sense a person most identifies with you can use "their" language to communicate more effectively with them. So if you want to get a visually oriented person to really understand what you're telling them, you should say "I'm going to paint you a picture." for an auditory person, you'd say "I'm going to tell you something."

All these phrases are tricks of the sales trade and can increase a salesperson's success. As I've been writing the article, I've been thinking how great would it be if there were similar tricks for written language. But unfortunately, as far as I know, there aren't. Because there's no way to pinpoint who your readers are, and the truth is your readers are most likely going to be all types.

However, what a writer can do is make their characters one or the other and have them talk consistently in that manner. If you change it up so that one character is visual and another auditory, each character is going to connect with some of your readers.

The character that uses a lot of visual language will resonate with your visually oriented readers. And the character that speaks in auditory words will resonate with your auditory oriented readers. And throw in a kinesthetic character, so that the few feeling oriented readers will have someone to connect with as well.

Who Stole the Cookie From the Cookie Jar?

In honor of Halloween I thought I'd write a short mystery about a missing treat. Enjoy!

“Who stole the last cookie from the cookie jar,” I yelled upon discovering the Oreo cookie I’d been dreaming about all day was gone.

My husband looked up from where he was reading the newspaper.

“Was it you.” I stood, hands on hips, nodding pointedly at the glass of milk in front of him.

“Wasn’t me. I’d never get between you and your Oreos.”

“Hmph,” I replied turning back to the scene of the theft. I spied a small crumb on the corner of the counter, and another one on the floor. Aha! The thief left a trail for me to follow. Down the hall, past the bathroom and into the guest bedroom, I followed the crumbs.

“Grandma! You stole the cookie from the cookie jar.”

“Who me?”

“Yes, you.”

“Couldn’t be,” she said, pointing to the half-eaten blueberry muffin on the desk. “You know I don’t like cookies. They’re too sweet.”

“Then who?” She shrugged her shoulders and took a bite of her muffin.

Back to square one, I returned to the kitchen. Who else could have stolen my cookie? I picked up the jar and turned it over. A smear of red caught my eye. Finger paint!

I tiptoed to the den. I could hear my kids, three year old Jenna and seven year old Max, laughing. I peeked around the corner. Max had clearly been teaching Jenna how to finger paint. Briefly I noted he had remembered to spread out newspaper, so that the mess was easily erased. Was that worth my last Oreo though? I think not.

“I’m ho-ome,” I sang ala Jack Nicholson in The Shining.

“Mommy,” Jenna jumped up and ran to hug me. I held her back for a moment. “Let mommy take a look at you. I missed your pretty face today,” I said searching the corners of her mouth for tell-tale signs of chocolate. Nothing.

“You didn't steal mommy's cookie from the cookie jar, did you sweetie?”

Jenna leaned toward me, pushed my hair out of the way, and whispered into my ear. "Max took your cookie, mommy."

"Max took my cookie from the cookie jar?"

Max wiped his sleeve across his face, leaving a touch of blue paint on his cheek. "Whoma," he gulped. "Who me?"

"Yes you!"

In reply, my son smiled at me, all that was left of my Oreo spread across his teeth.

Breakthrough!

I had a breakthrough today. I realized that because I kept telling myself that I didn't want my main character to be too much like me, I was actually pushing her away from me and so couldn't get a grip on her. What I realized was because the book is in so many ways based on my own experiences with the travel industry, it would be impossible to separate myself and my experiences from her and her experiences. Trying to do so left only a vacuum and a very flat one-dimensional character.

So I began to think about what parts of my own backstory I could give her and what parts of my personality I would want to change and suddenly she started to become alive.

I don't know if this makes me a weaker author or not, but I now realize, for me at least, I can't create a character that doesn't have parts of me in it. I can't just pick a backstory I think sounds interesting and some character traits and create a main character who feels genuine. Maybe I could if the story line were completely seperate from my own life, but not when its somewhat based on my own experiences.

Abi's not complete yet. I still have to try writing her and see what happens and I need to do a new character sketch but I can feel her inside me for the first time.

I've never been pregnant but I'd hazard to say that it's like I can feel the first few kicks, the first glimmers of a living being inside of myself. And for the first time, I'm excited about her.

I've been excited about my plot. I've been excited about some of the secondary characters but I've never been excited about Abi before.

Now that I'm feeling some life from Abi, and after the positive phone call I had with the editor a few days ago, I'm feeling pretty good about this mystery novel of mine!

Some good news, some bad

So I had my very first "meeting" with a book editor on Saturday and it went much better than I expected. Oh, I did learn that my main character is totally unlikeable and a real bitch and that I need to rip apart the first chapter and re-write it, but neither of those criticisms were a total surprise to me.

Not a TOTAL surprise I said. I've been saying for awhile that I'm having a hard time getting my characterizations down pat, and I've known, or thought, that my main character was too flat. I didn't realize she was unlikeable. Which, perhaps, is better than flat. I mean she did elicit a response from the editor, right?

And while I knew the pacing was off in my first chapter and that perhaps there was not enough tension, I didn't realize the whole thing would need to be scrapped.

Apparently I introduced too many characters all at once, which I'm guessing may be a novice writer's mistake. Throw everyone in the mix all at once and see what happens. Apparently, that's not the way to do it. Ok, now I know.

Also, while big gala parties are fun in real life, they're not so much fun to read, at least that's what I was told. Do you agree? I kinda liked the description of my party. :(

Oh, there was a bunch of other things I've got to work on and fix and re-work on and re-fix, but I still came away from my meeting feeling pretty good.

First of all, the editor told me I should just finish writing the book before I even begin to do any of the edits, which takes a lot of pressure off. Of course, I kind of ignored the advice (just a teeny bit) and already made some edits because I want to submit my first 50 pages to a mentorship program and don't want to get back the same critique.

But the main reason I feel pretty good is that overall, this editor thought I had a lot of talent and had done a pretty good job for what is my very first attempt at writing a novel. She had some other nice things to say but I don't like to toot my own horn so I'll stop here.

But I will say its so nice to have a "real" person (i.e. someone in the book publishing business, and not, say, my dad) read some of my manuscript and have mostly good things to say about it. That just makes me want to keep writing!

Wish me luck

I have exciting, and terrifying news. I have a phone appointment tomorrow with an acquisitions editor from an independent publishing house tomorrow. I won the appointment in a lottery held by that publishing company as part of an online mystery convention they're hosting, also tomorrow.

I'm excited, especially because she concluded her e-mail to me with the fact that she's looking forward to reading more. But I'm also terrified because I know all the weaknesses my book has and it's going to be hard to hear it from someone else.

But you know what scares me the most? If this editor really does like the idea, and likes the writing she read in the first 13 pages I sent her, she will want to read more, and eventually will want to read the finished (and polished) manuscript. That means I actually have to write the book!

Well, duh, you're saying. Of course I have to write the book, and yes I've slowly been doing so since last January. But really I'm not taking it all as seriously as I should be. In fact, I should be working on my next chapter right now -- not writing an entry for my blog!

I always find ways to procrastinate. I get easily discouraged when the words don't come easily or the flaws in my writing are glaring back at me from the page. I'm quick to close MS Word and find something else to do.

But if this editor tells me she wants more, I can no longer make excuses and quite frankly that scares the you know what out of me!

Of course I want her to want more. I want her to like it so much she wants to read the finished product as soon as I can get it done. But at the same time, I don't know how I can actually get it done. I think in such short terms. My goal is always to get the next chapter done, forget about the whole book!

When I think about actually writing the whole book, then going back and editing it and re-writing it, I can feel my heart start to pound. It's overwhelming.

It's funny because when I work as a writer for a publication, while deadlines do stress me out, they also get my juices flowing. I sometimes think I write some of my best stuff when I'm under deadline. Partly because those pieces are leaner (something all good writing should be). Of course, the pieces I've written under deadline in the past have never been more than a couple thousand words -- not 100,000 words!

It'll be interesting tomorrow. To find out what she likes about the book (I'm assuming she'll find something to like) and what she doesn't like (I KNOW there'll be stuff she's not into). It'll also be interesting to see how I react, to her criticism and to what she wants, especially if that includes a finished book!

It's scary. It's exciting. Wish me luck!

Misery loves company or I'm not alone!

I don't know if something's in the water or if October is self-realization month but around the same time I blogged about my biggest writing weakness being characterization, two other authors blogged about their own writing weaknesses.

While of course I know logically that all authors have their own weaknesses, as a newbie writer its easy to tell myself that my weaknesses are worse than others, than in fact other writers are exaggerating their own weaknesses. And that when I read a book I like, with all the pieces well-put together, that author probably never struggled a day in her life with her writing skills. Creating coherent scenes, believable characters, well-paced action and a satisfying ending just come naturally to those authors.

So it's nice to read about other authors, especially ones I like, speaking about their own struggles. For instance Leann Sweeney, the author of a fun cozy called The Cat, The Quilt and the Corpse, recently wrote on her blog (Writers Plot) about how she has a hard time getting humor into her books, and a hard time with criticism. She blogged about crying while reading her editor's comments and listening to her book group's critiques. As I'm sure I'll probably be hysterical the first time I get a rejection or really tough criticism (at my first staff writing job I used to go the bathroom and cry after my managing editor tore apart my articles) from anyone, its nice to know that I won't be alone.

On the Women of Mystery blog Laura K. Curtis (a so-far unpublished writer) blogged about having trouble with writing love scenes. This from a woman who writes romantic suspense! That's a pretty important aspect to struggle with! So once again, I feel reassured. If a romantic suspense writer can find a way to write love scenes, even though its hard for her, then I can find a way to make my characters believable!

As both writers said in their blogs -- and I've said it before -- writing is work. It's hard and its grueling and its frustrating and it knocks all the confidence out of you. But...

But when you've managed to slog your way through all of that, and all the pieces finally come together, it's magical.

Or at least that's the carrot I'm holding out in front of me since I've never reached that light at the end of the tunnel. But reading about other people's journeys and knowing they did reach the light, I have to have faith it'll be there for me too.

A writing contest for kids

I've noticed lately that a lot of contests out there are for kids, especially the ones that have prizes I would like to be able to win. Since it's been more years than I care to remember since I was a child, I guess I'm going to have to wait until my niece is old enough to participate in these contests. And should she win, I'll also need to figure out how to coax her to choose me over her parents as her guest on the trip she wins.

In the meantime, all the other kids out there pose no competition to me so I see no reason to let others know about cool contests with even cooler prizes.

A new contest is now being offered to budding writers. It's sponsored by Adventures by Disney and HarperCollins and is called "The Search for Flat Stanlety's Next BIG Adventure." Now I've never heard of Flat Stanley and no nothing about any of his adventures but apparently he's pretty well-known among children's literature. So assuming some of you know who he is and have kids who like him, this contest is for them.

Young writers and artists are invited to create their own 150-word Flat Stanley story. Children must be between 7 and 12 to enter and the winner will be awarded an Adventures by Disney vacation. Entries must be recieved by Nov. 30.

Entries will be judged in three age groups: 7- to 8-year olds; 9- to 10-year olds; and 11- to 12-year olds. One winner will be chosen in each age group and each winner can choose one of Adventures by Disney's 19 worldwide vacations for their prize.

Parents, kids and teachers can check out www.FlatStanleyBooks.com/AdventuresbyDisney for Official Rules and complete information on the contest.

Do you know who Flat Stanley is? Have your kids been on an adventure with him? I'd love to hear more about him.

Writing a Twitter story

A few months back Gotham Writers' Workshops ran an online Twitter story contest. To enter you had to write a short, short story in 140 characters or less. The prize was a free 6-week writing class.

I thought that was a pretty cool idea. How do you create a story with a character and a real desire in just 140 characters. I thought about for awhile and tried a few different things.

Eventually I entered the contest with the following:

Kitty looks up at me with begging eyes. Her tail lashes. Where's the crazy light I like to chase? I sigh and press the button.

I liked it. It's exactly what happens when I buy a laser pointer and bring it home to my cat. She can't get enough of it and begs me (well actually bugs me) to keep playing with her.

Unfortunately Gotham Writers' didn't agree with my evaluation. I didn't win, nor was I a runner up.

I did like the winner's entry though. Written by a woman from New Hampshire, the winning Twitter story was:

Wanting marriage, my niece sobbed, "I'd hate to be Ken's 50 year old girlfriend." At 69 and alone, Id love being 50 and Ken's girlfriend.

There were three runners up. I liked one of them and thought two weren't good at all.

The one I liked was written by a guy from Georgia:

This is agent Nix with the CIA. We've been listening to your phone calls for the last 8 months. Is this a good time to speak with you?

The two others I didn't like were:

I knew she wasn't to be trusted by the scars between her toes. Those scars had seen the worst of life, and learned to keep it all a secret.

Still and silent, until the store closes, then a snack from aisle four, some TV in aisle nine, and I try to forget about being a mannequin.


So what do you think? Want to try your hand at writing a Twitter story? Leave a comment with your attempt.

Struggling with my characters

I've been struggling with my writing lately (hey, what else is new!). As I write I become more and more aware of my faults as a writer, especially as I'm also reading other mysteries at the same time and see how well other writers do the things I'm having difficulty with.

One of my weakest skills, if not my weakest, is characterization. Most of my characters feel flat to me, not quite real. And I'm not sure how to make them better. I've read the books, blogs, articles about creating compelling characters and I've tried to use some of what I've read, but they just don't seem to be clicking.

Except for one. I do have one character, Major, who feels real to me. I'm not sure why he's been my most successful character. When I first wrote him, I didn't realize he was going to play an important part in the story. But I quickly grew to like him very much and wanted him to be a bigger part of the story.

But my other characters, and especially my main character, Abi, just seem to fall flat. In my mind I know what is supposed to drive Abi but on paper I haven't been able to communicate that properly yet.

It's depressing because I read how other authors begin to see their characters as living, breathing entities. The characters tell them what works and what doesn't. I don't seem to feel that, except with Major.

There are these exercises a writer is supposed to do where I write out all the little characteristics about my main character in order to know her as well as possible. Like, what would she wear to a party, what does she like to eat, what curse words does she use when she gets angry, etc. And while it's easy to simply fill in anything you want, I've found that doesn't work for me. I simply draw a blank when I see these questions. I don't know what Abi would wear. I don't know what Abi likes to eat. I don't know what curse words she uses.

I do know she tugs her hair when she gets stressed or nervous. I do know she snaps at people when she's scared or angry. I do know that she hates crossword puzzles and mystery novels, but can't keep her nose out of other people's business. I know she's always surprised and upset when she's confronted with the fact that life isn't fair.

Is that knowledge enough? Would knowing what food Abi likes to eat and what she wears to a fancy party make her seem more real to me? I don't know. All I do know is that right now she's still two one-dimensional and it's driving me crazy.

Maybe I just need to practice, or most likely I just need to keep writing and eventually she'll start to emerge more and more, like a fictional butterfly trapped in the pages of my writing, just waiting to break free and fly on her own. I just wish she'd do it sooner rather than later!